The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:

• The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
• The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.
• The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.
• The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
• The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
• The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
• The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
• The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
• The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
• The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
• The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
• The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
• The U. S. Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
• The Airport Men’s Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican senators.
• The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President’s accomplishments.

The library will also include many famous quotes by George W. Bush:

• “The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”
• “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
• “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
• “No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.”
• “I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom an democracy–but that could change.”
• “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”
• “Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”
• “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
• “The future will be better tomorrow.”
• “We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”
• “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” (during an education photo-op)
• “Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not havin it.”
• “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
• “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
• “I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”

PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

Sincerely,

Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair G. W. Bush Library Board of Directors